At least make sure they are 18
Why
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
