that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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