And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
