No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
