I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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