there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
