btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
