How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
