Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize