oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
