i'm signing you up for texting rehab
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize