Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
