If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize