Small penises have feelings too.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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