tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
