I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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