i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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