if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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