it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
