So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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