Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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