Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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