youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
