I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
