Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
