You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
