I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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