I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
