Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
