So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
