someone threw a dead crab at me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
