if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
