omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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