Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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