He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
