I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
