you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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