its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
