He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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