The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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