im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
