Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
