i just google imaged poop.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
