I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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