So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
