Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
