I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
