Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
