just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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