I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
