you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
