addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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