The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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