just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my poor anus
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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