Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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