Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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