I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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