I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
