The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize