When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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