I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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