i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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