You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
