In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
