I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
